09/21/2012 @ 11:20am (EST)

Wow…Five and a half weeks since my last update.

 

Kind of makes me wish that I had better news…

 

I’m still down – I haven’t gained anything – But I haven’t really lost anything and have lost a lot of the muscle mass.  I was sick for a while this week, was lazy another week a couple weeks ago, and have just not been doing well on the weight-loss journey.

 

We have our treadmill now, we have our weight bench now.  I didn’t know if I had that at the last update…

 

My sisters wedding was horrible – According to my scale at home, I gained 8 pounds!  Turns out I only gained 3 ½ but it was still bad.  Then I lost that…Then last weekend I was at the Muskegon Irish Music Festival and I gained 2 ½ pounds.

 

I’ve been sick most of this and just tired in general so I haven’t done a damn thing.  Today I’m feeling much better (started yesterday feeling better but wanted to be lazy another day) but now I’ve pulled a muscle in my neck.  I think I’m going to take the rest of the week off and start back up again this week. 

 

On the plus side, I’ve been sticking with the diet pretty well – I’ve been over on my calories a bit this week because I’ve been eating MetRx Meal Bars and those are higher in calories and fat, but I’ve stayed under 2,000.  Just higher in points because I’ve had a lot more fat and because my breakfast has been twice the calories I’m used to.

 

What I’m most upset about is still that I can’t do Power 90.  Jeff (bless him) helped me come up with a workout routine that incorporates part of Power 90’s Sculpt and also using the treadmill – I was so proud because I did it for a week and did great!  I walked a mile every day, I lost six pounds, I was doing good…But I never got back into the weights – Only did those two days (which is what was scheduled) but now I’ve been off of them another week.

 

I really need to just kick myself in the ass and do it, but I’m losing motivation.  I am sleeping better – I get to bed no later than 9:30pm most nights – But I’m just exhausted.

 

In my mind, I know that exercise will help that, but I’m struggling with motivation.  Big time.  I’m not falling into bad habits just yet because I’m sticking with the diet for the most part (other than Irish Festivals and weddings) but I’m struggling.  Thankfully, we’ve only got one more faire (Holly Ren Faire) to go to and that’s local so we’ll be able to bring lots of food with us.

 

Other than that, everything is mostly okay – Appointment with surgeon coming up and I’m nervous about that but it’ll be okay.  I do have an appointment with the asthma doctor and I was hoping to really be in shape, but it’s not looking like I’ll be taken off meds – I haven’t been doing it well enough lately and of all the doctors, he’ll be the one that will notice the most.

 

I’m stressed out – Jeff quit his job (but I’m thankful he did) because it was horrible, but now I’m panicking about money and all the financial responsibility lies on me.  On top of it, we’re coming up on the end of our lease in a month and rent went up by $50.  Sucks.

 

It’ll be okay and I know I’ll be less stressed if I get back with exercising.  We’ll see how that goes…

 

Until next time…

08/12/2012 @ 08:12pm (EST)

Two weeks since my last update…

 

Well…Long story short, the week before the Dublin Irish Music Festival went okay (from what I can remember that far back) and we did skip that Saturday’s workout (Sculpt 1-2) because we spent about 5 hours Friday walking and sweating.

 

We went to the Columbus Zoo and it was about 104 degrees with the humidity and finally I just gave up – Couldn’t take it any more because I was tired and exhausted and we still had the Irish Fest the next day. 

 

The Irish fest was pretty much the same thing – Hot weather, sweating and walking a lot.

 

Because of this, I thought I’d be okay with the food I was eating.  We packed a lot of healthy snacks, but I didn’t eat many of them – I ate what I wanted and I paid for it…

 

When we came back home, I had gone up from 339.2 to almost 348 pounds.  I was devastated.  I thought it was just water weight or a fluke in the scale, but I weighed myself the next day and it was the same thing.

 

That instantly just broke my spirit.

 

On top of it all, I’ve had some personal things going on with me this week – I had found a lump on my breast that the doctor was really nervous about and had a week of doctor’s appointments the week before last week and a scheduled biopsy this past week.  That put a huge damper in my motivation as well.

 

Turns out everything is okay (at least for now) – Surgeon wasn’t even worried about the lump but I do have a follow-up appointment with him in two more weeks to see what it’s done, (grown, stayed the same, shrunk, etc) and then we’ll go from there.

 

Last night I had a big old talk with Jeff about what the point was – I wasn’t good during the Irish Festival by any means, but I didn’t go absolutely crazy.  I’m still upset too that I’m not losing as quickly and I was having a hard time seeing what the point was.

 

Then earlier today, I read about my friend Paul – Paul has lost a huge amount of weight lately, without surgeries, and he is truly an inspiration.  (See next post for his story).

 

Between that, Jeff, and my German stubbornness, I am determined to not give up.

 

I got back on the scale just a few minutes ago, am down from almost 348 this week to 342.6.  While that means I am still up 3.4 pounds from last time, that’s okay.  We start “The Biggest Loser” competition at work and I will not let this deter me from winning.

Until next time!  :)

 

07/29/2012 @ 07:44pm (EST)

Again…Me with the horrible updates.  Sadly, this one won’t be great, but it’ll be an update of what has happened (good and bad) since the last update.

 

The last couple of weeks have been full of ups and downs since my last update.

 

On day 30, I was so excited that I had finally finished 30 days of Power 90.  It is not the longest I have made it on a diet/exercise program (that’s about two months after my mom had a heart attack four years ago), but it was the longest I have made it on Power 90 and it’s the longest I’ve made it since then.

 

Then I found out I wouldn’t be able to work out on day 30 (or day 31 as I would find out later) because I had a stiff neck.

 

That had me panicked. 

 

I did go on to lose 2.6 pounds that week.

 

Then last week, on day 37, the air conditioning in our apartment went out.  It was 86 degrees IN the apartment when I started the workout and it got up to about 92 by the time I was done.

 

Needless to say, I didn’t really do a great job on the workout.  I only gave about 50 percent and I completely skipped the kicks and punches, though I did do the Ab Ripper.

 

Now tonight, we did my weight and measurements and I’m down another 4.8 pounds this past week.  That brings my total to 19.6 pounds lost!!!

 

I can still feel it in my stamina, my breathing, and I’ve been getting so excited lately because I’m able to bend lower and last longer.  Not only that, but I’ve ACTUALLY got some arm muscles!  It’s AWESOME!  :)

 

Now…I do have a couple of things to consider the next couple of weeks…

 

I’m only two or three weeks away from when I’m supposed to start Sculpt 3-4 and Sweat 3-4.

 

That said, I took a look at that DVD and I’m nowhere NEAR ready to go that fast.  So I think what I’m going to do is do a COMPLETE round of Sculpt 1-2 and Sweat 1-2 for 90 days and THEN start it again right.  Otherwise I’m just going to hurt myself.

 

The other thing I need to consider is that Jeff and I have a VERY busy couple of months coming up and not really at places known for their healthy eating choices: Next weekend we have the Dublin Irish Music Fest, two weeks after that is my sisters bachelorette party, two weeks after that is my sisters wedding, two weeks after that is the Michigan Irish Fest in Muskegon, and two weeks after that is the Michigan Ren Faire in Holly, MI.

 

We are going to be packing a lot of snacks, but I am really scared about screwing this up.

 

We are going to The Cheesecake Factory this weekend to treat ourselves but we are going to try to go easy on the food.  We are bringing a lot of meal bars and snacks and almonds with craisins and even some of our protein shakes, but this is why I “saved” all my bonus points – No, you can’t actually save them, but better to not use them and not be able to stick with the diet as well than to use them all and still not be able to stick with it. 

 

That all said too, we are bringing our workout DVD’s with us so we’ll be able to still workout.  I’m also going to bringing a pad of paper and a pen so I can write down EVERYTHING I eat – Just like always.  I may not be able to find all the calories and everything for all the things we eat, but I’ll be able to see where I need improve.

 

I guess that is about it for now, my next update should be later this week or right after the Dublin Irish Festival.  :)

07/17/2012 @ 08:59pm (EST)

Weighed myself today and I was up 1/5 of a pound.  Cried.  Turns out I’m not down any.  Still cried.

 

MONTH END REPORT:
Weight: -12.2 pounds
Chest: -2 inches (*cries*)
Waist: -1 1/2 inches
Wrist: -1/4 inch
Forearm: -1/4 inch
Ankle: -1 inch (WTF?)
Mid calf: - 1 inch
Mid thigh: +1/2 inch (*cries*)
BMI (approx): -1 point

Not NEARLY as impressive as I would have liked, but I am trying to remember that muscle weighs more than fat. I had a LOT of fat that has been replaced by muscle - I can flex my arms and it's not just fat! I can feel my abs (under the fat) when I flex them.

Also - The BMI Calculator just goes by the measurements...It doesn't take the muscle into account so it's kind of faulty for a fat person.

Overall, I'm really happy...I really am. I think I'm doing it RIGHT this time and building muscle to replace the fat and that's why I'm not losing as much. Just keeping in mind how my breathing is going - I can TELL the difference - And that's DAMN good.

Still can't tell the difference in my clothes and people that see me everyday might not be able to tell, but I bet my parents will be able to tell when I see them next. :)

07/11/2012 @ 03:02pm (EST)

It’s been a while since my last update, so here’s what’s been going on with the fitness the last few days:

 

Saturday:

I was so proud with my workout!  I truly “brought it” and I kicked ass!  I decided that the following “Sweat 1-2” DVD, I would even give a try at Power Yoga.  Today also marked me being ¼ of the way done with the program!  I called my mom, bawling, because I was so proud of myself because I’ve stuck with it and haven’t gone over on points or calories (used bonus points) other than two times. Jeff and I have also been shopping for an elliptical and we found two that we really like but they are soooooo expensive ($800+).  When talking with my mom, she said my aunt might have one I can use so she’s going to check with her and let us know…Here’s hoping!

 

Sunday:

Today was weigh in day…I only lost a pound.  Needless to say, it was a huge blow and I was very upset about it.  Jeff tried reassuring me that it’s because I’m building so much muscle, but I can’t help but feel defeated.  We didn’t have time to take measurements but that’s okay…

 

Monday:

Back with it!  Jeff bought me weights (10 pounds) and although they were way too much, I did what I could. Jeff is going to go buy me 2.5 pound weights so I have them to use on Wednesday.  Today also marks one month since I have had any fast food – Really, it has been one month since any meals other than a chicken onion teriyaki sub from Subway or the Steak and Shrimp (under 500 calorie) dinner from Applebee’s.  Definitely something to celebrate.  :)

 

Tuesday:

I was not feeling it with the workout.  I haven’t been getting much sleep the last couple of nights (my fault and not works for once) but I just wasn’t feeling it and I slacked.  I also attempted to do the Power Yoga portion of the “Sweat 1-2” DVD and it was a fail of EPIC proportions.  I need to be able to hold my body up with my arms a lot better before I try this again – I imagine I probably won’t be able to do this until I lose about 100 pounds.  It’s okay because it gives me something to work towards, but it was yet another blow because I can’t do it.  We did my weight again today so we could get my measurements – The first time I hopped on the scale, I was actually up a few pounds from last week.  I nearly cried.  Then we re-weighed me three more times – The next two times I was at 350.4 and the last time I was at 349.4.  As much as I wanted to hit 350, I went with the 350.4 because that had shown up most often.

 

So that’s about it for today…As soon as I get home, I’ll be doing my “Sculpt 1-2” DVD with my new 2.5 pound weights!  We’ll see how it goes!

07/02/2012 @ 03:11pm (EST)

More good news today!

 

Weigh in day was yesterday and I’m down another few pounds!  It wasn’t as much as I wanted it to be, but I’m down a total of 10 pounds!   Jeff is also down a total of 10 pounds!

 

I have a sneaky suspicion that if I curb my love of ice cream bars, I might actually lose a little more weight…

 

A couple of new things have been added to the menu in the last week or so: Muffins and fish!  (Separately, of course).  :)

 

My dad used to make pumpkin muffins and Jeff spent all day in the kitchen on Saturday baking up a storm!  We had pumpkin muffins (some made with yellow cake, some made with spice cake) and also found a recipe for shortcake muffins. 

 

The pumpkin ones turned out great (though we will be using the spice cake from now on – It just gives it that extra kick) and although the shortcake muffins (made with blueberries, strawberries, blackberries, or raspberries) weren’t that bad, we decided that the next time those get made, we’re going to leave the fruit out.

 

The next thing we decided to do (mostly at my insistence) was to add more fish to the diet – We are going to plan on eating fish at least once a week.

 

Last week we had salmon and this week we had a light breaded tilapia.  It was fantastic!

 

I haven’t had real fish in quite a while and it was nice to eat something different again.

 

Diet is still going pretty well, as mentioned before though, I need to ease down on the ice cream bars…It is not acceptable to eat three of them in one night, even if they are only a point a piece for the latte bars.

 

Exercise is still going pretty well – My endurance is building up, my flexibility is better, and I’m able to keep up better.

 

According to the chart I downloaded a year ago from Microsoft Word, I’ve also lowered my BMI almost two full points!!!  That’s just by losing ten pounds!

 

So yeah…Things are good. Still nervous about the Irish Festivals and I know I’ll go over, but the key is going to be to eat only when hungry, not overindulge, and get right back on the straight and narrow the next day.

 

Until next time!

06/26/2012 @ 08:51pm (EST)

One full week done!

 

I managed to do all my Power 90 workouts, stick with my diet for another weekend, and lost 7.2 pounds!!!

 

Jeff (the boyfriend) is also down just over seven pounds!  We’re both pretty happy!

 

Now all that said, I really have to learn to put the Weight Watchers ice cream bars down…My favorite are the latte ones and they are only just above 1 point each, but I need to not eat three of them in one night.  Le sigh.

 

Jeff has even joined me on a couple of workouts recently and the workouts have been pretty good…Until tonight.

 

I’m still skipping sections of the “Sculpt” DVD where they do the dips, lunges, all that, but today on the “Sweat” DVD, I was just too tired and skipped the last round of legs, all of arms, cool down, stretch, and just went right to the “Ab Ripper”.  No excuses…Got lazy.  Will do better tomorrow and not get upset with myself.

 

Upcoming:

Still have a couple of things I’m worried about coming up: Good friends are coming over this weekend and we are taking them to the local smokehouse restaurant…There are healthy options (I’m thinking steak and steamed veggies), but I just don’t want those.  There is so much good, fried food there and who wants veggies when you can deep fried pickles?  Not me.  But I’ll probably be pretty good…For the most part.

 

The other things I’m worried about are the Irish Music Festivals.  I think I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m going to still write down everything I eat, but I’m not going to panic if I don’t stay within my points…In fact, I doubt if I will be able to stay within them.

 

Jeff and I are going to pack a lot of healthy snacks, meal bars, all that, but still plan on having tasty adult beverages (probably two of the three nights) and some good old Irish stew, potato soup, and my once-per-year (for the last eight years) treat: One (1) deep-fried Twinkie.

 

Goal?  To not screw up everything I have been working on and to eat only when hungry, not when bored.

 

So I suppose I’ll end this entry here…Just had to get some thoughts out about some upcoming events…

 

(BTW: I don’t know if I posted it or not, but I DID manage to resist the treats at the company BBQ – I brought my healthy lunch, gave the left over ice cream pudding away, and didn’t cheat AT ALL.  Not even ONE LITTLE BIT).  :D

06/20/2012 @ 09:22am (EST)

I stand at only 5’5” and as of June 13, 2012 weigh 362.6 pounds (that's actually down from about 370).  I wear a 5x or 6x shirt (depending on brand) and wear between a 30/32 and 32/34 pant (depending on brand). 

 

I’ll post a picture here eventually, and maybe even share my charts and such, but not yet.  :)

 

I’ve been dieting now since June 11, 2012.  I’m following a loose version of Weight Watchers – Using their old points system.  I started the Power 90 workout routing on June 18, 2011 so we’ll see how that goes.

 

I keep a journal of everything I eat as well as a calendar on when I work out and a chart on how my weight and estimated BMI is changing.  It’s going to be hard to just make sure to keep off the scale except for once a week…Stupid scale.

 

I decided to start this blog just as a personal journal as to how my exercise and dieting is going and to write down my thoughts here.

 

Diet:

Overall, I’m fairly happy.  Things took a little turn for the worse when I went to my boyfriends brother’s wedding, but I didn’t go over my points…I just used all of the bonus ones.  I am a bit nervous about our company BBQ but I’m thinking I’ll probably just bring a lunch still.  I’m more worried about the fact that I offered to make ice cream pudding and I know how bad it is.  I did manage to resist doughnuts, but ice cream pudding?  Oh dear……………..  :)

 

Exercise:

The first two days were no good.  I worked a lot of hours (11 hours at work, then came home to work about 4 more hours) so I really slacked and skipped a lot.  My heart just wasn’t in it.  Today, I did fantastic though!  I really gave it my all and got a really good workout.

 

Where I’m struggling:

Sculpt 1-2: I can’t do lunges or squats.  My legs just can’t take it.  I also can’t do a regular pushup – I have to do them against the wall. I’ll try to add later how far away from the wall and all that, but my goal is to be able to do them on my own by the end of the program.

 

Sweat 1-2: I can not do Power Yoga.  I can’t keep up, I get out of breath too easily, and for now, have just decided to give up that part until I’m a bit more in shape.  The Ab Ripper part also takes me about 15 minutes (from past history), but I do them all.

 

Warmups: In both warmups, I just can’t hold my weight on some of the stretches – Runners pose for instance.  I have to use the couch.  I can’t even put my one hand behind my head and grab that elbow with the free hand – It cuts off my airflow.  I’ll get there, but this will give me a reminder of where I started.

 

I decided to start this blog just as a personal journal as to how my exercise and dieting is going…

 

Other:

I was very upset that after a week of dieting, I had only lost 1/5 of a pound.  That was it.  I was devastated, but I hadn’t been working out so I decided not to get too hard on myself.  I need to remember that it takes time and not to be upset if next week I don’t lose weight either.  It’s a long-term process and it won’t happen overnight.

 

Goals:

Short term: Finish the 90 day Power 90 routing, get down to 300 pounds, be able to walk up a flight of stairs without getting completely winded.

Long term: Be down to 200 pounds so I can go skydiving, wear shorts, go to an amusement park and actually ride the rides.

 

Overall I’m proud of myself – I’ve lasted longer than I have in previous times so that’s something at least.

 

I suppose that’s all for now…Until the next update!